Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
