he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
