you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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