My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
