I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
