i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
