I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
