Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
