Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize