evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
