I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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