She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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