I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
