remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
