hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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