He told me they were just razor bumps!
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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