Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
