is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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