I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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