you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
did i walk over a car last night?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Randomize
