it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize