You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
