i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
bring money and cleavage
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
