You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
