I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
