Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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