i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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