During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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