Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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