are you so shy because you have an std?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
