it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I forget how to act sober
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
