How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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