So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
