did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Even my vagina gasped.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
