I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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