take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
