We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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