My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
