twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
