eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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