i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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