You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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