how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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