My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
