What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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