saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
