Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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