Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
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