You're completely useless in the revolution.
are you so shy because you have an std?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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