she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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