Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Actions speak louder than pants.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
