Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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