I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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