Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I am spending my child support on dildos
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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