Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
