Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
we're so committed to being not committed
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
