I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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