I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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