im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I wish life had little blips of pornography
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize