A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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