saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.