I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.