I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
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