Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck