Texts From Last Night

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  (517): View more from Michigan

  yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.

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  (517): yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox. http://tfl.nu/4oix
  Replies (4) Good night (540) Bad night (708)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.

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  (403): she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that. http://tfl.nu/e222
  Replies (11) Good night (2841) Bad night (662)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear

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  (802): it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear http://tfl.nu/jyif
  Replies (2) Good night (1860) Bad night (620)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  you were so drunk you slurred your pauses

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  (440): you were so drunk you slurred your pauses http://tfl.nu/u543
  Replies (6) Good night (4338) Bad night (574)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao

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  (786): my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao http://tfl.nu/rabe
  Replies (38) Good night (1406) Bad night (7071)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.

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  (803): Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops. http://tfl.nu/javd
  Replies (23) Good night (5314) Bad night (1165)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.

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  (814): I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone. http://tfl.nu/qodf
  Replies (2) Good night (2191) Bad night (870)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.

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  (703): I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes. http://tfl.nu/i5s6
  Replies (6) Good night (968) Bad night (4825)
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  (510): View more from California

  Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"

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  (510): Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone" http://tfl.nu/xglm
  Replies (14) Good night (3302) Bad night (1458)
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  (925): View more from California

  After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome

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  (925): After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome http://tfl.nu/nygq
  Replies (10) Good night (3948) Bad night (1218)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.

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  (705): I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler. http://tfl.nu/mskj
  Replies (6) Good night (2613) Bad night (736)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  You are my mentor.

  (276): View more from Virginia

  I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.

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  (865): You are my mentor. (276): I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement. http://tfl.nu/qxu9
  Replies (4) Good night (1217) Bad night (357)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job

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  (778): I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job http://tfl.nu/qp1e
  Replies (0) Good night (528) Bad night (221)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?

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  (303): Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real? http://tfl.nu/o1yr
  Replies (1) Good night (386) Bad night (284)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning

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  (775): He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning http://tfl.nu/qrro
  Replies (0) Good night (377) Bad night (151)

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