Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it

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  (313): Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it http://tfl.nu/qght
  Replies (4) Good night (1842) Bad night (493)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I didn't shave. On purpose

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  (704): I didn't shave. On purpose http://tfl.nu/ll6a
  Replies (11) Good night (618) Bad night (965)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.

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  (610): The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed. http://tfl.nu/1baq
  Replies (21) Good night (4220) Bad night (780)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.

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  (224): i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study. http://tfl.nu/7goo
  Replies (14) Good night (4121) Bad night (893)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.

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  (805): You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed. http://tfl.nu/chu6
  Replies (7) Good night (1680) Bad night (3496)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?

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  (610): Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen? http://tfl.nu/hze5
  Replies (5) Good night (2495) Bad night (800)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet

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  (920): If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet http://tfl.nu/w7lt
  Replies (3) Good night (1920) Bad night (694)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.

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  (203): nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles. http://tfl.nu/y6oh
  Replies (14) Good night (2681) Bad night (880)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Watching her eat just hurts me

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  (303): Watching her eat just hurts me http://tfl.nu/nzv7
  Replies (7) Good night (416) Bad night (991)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.

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  (414): I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me. http://tfl.nu/n4ee
  Replies (5) Good night (1099) Bad night (514)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.

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  (571): My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have. http://tfl.nu/0vrk
  Replies (3) Good night (1027) Bad night (488)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV

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  (478): IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV http://tfl.nu/p33s
  Replies (3) Good night (480) Bad night (1404)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.

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  (818): Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party. http://tfl.nu/8owu
  Replies (12) Good night (416) Bad night (1001)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five

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  (705): He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five http://tfl.nu/qd6j
  Replies (0) Good night (536) Bad night (228)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.

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  (303): I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety. http://tfl.nu/yo47
  Replies (2) Good night (549) Bad night (203)

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