I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
